- suggested achievement framework: - goal (annually): be engaged - results (monthly): number of mutual aid relationships that recommended a potential partner for you in a month - kpi (weekly): 500 lines of edit micro society wiki per week - ask - hold me accountable for coaching you. Our friendship and our differences put you in a unique position to guide me on how to be a better coach - advice - passion is attractive, get some - use structured achievement monitoring and coaching accountability to more efficiently meet your goals - change your expectations of your relationships -> mutual aid relationships. you don't have the luxury of providing intense unconditional care for people who don't share or further your goals. Don't be less caring, channel that care into [[mutual aid relationship]] and have standards for how you're treated by your relationships - you've been a `caretaker` for women you wanted a romantic relationship with and caretaking without accountability is not attractive you can't be [[over-functioning]] in a relationship and that's a hard line to find - work with mark to identify the aspects of your personality that would be servile to jimmy john's girl - keep corporate job + use mental bandwidth to work on goals/growth - coaching accountability - weekly actions -> monthly outcomes -> annual goals - ~20 min weekly review meetings #### John's Paths - Career changes (teaching/social work) offer purpose but at significant financial cost that could hinder family goals - John's current job offers him ample time and energy to work on growth and goals - focus on finding a partner without a broader purpose/community focus is less likely to succeed - Any path requires significant time investment beyond work hours to succeed | Path | Extra Hours/Week | Cost/Year | Partner Likelihood | Financial Stability | Purpose/Impact | Social Capital | Personal Growth | Job Satisfaction | Notes | | ----------------------------------- | ---------------- | ------------------------------- | ------------------ | ------------------- | -------------- | -------------- | --------------- | ---------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Random Dating + Corporate (Current) | 5-10 | $1K (dating apps) | 3 | 6 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 5 | Minimal structured effort: some swiping, occasional dates, passive social events | | Corporate + Structured Dating | 10-15 | $8-12K (matchmaking) | 5 | 6 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 5 | Professional matchmaking fees, dedicated date prep/time, coaching | | Part-time Social Work Transition | 20-25 | $20-30K (tuition + income loss) | 6 | 3 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | School costs plus reduced work hours during transition | | Teaching Revival | 15-20 | $15-20K (cert + income loss) | 5 | 4 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 6 | Certification costs, possible temp income reduction | | Micro-Society Advocate + Corporate | 10-15 | $2-4K (events/coaching) | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 5 | Event hosting, coaching, community building activities<br>leverages John's strengths (intelligence, empathy, storytelling) while building new connections | | Intensive Social Integration | 15-20 | $3-5K (memberships/events) | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 5 | Multiple group memberships, regular social activities, coaching |