[[john starkel conversation 24-12-28]] - I commend you on your effort and how far you've come with changing your outlook. I believe therapy can only take you so far - how did your fights with your roommates prove that they didn't care about you? - describe what a "life full of support" would mean for you. - how did you discover this "ability to influence other people"? why would you not be able to convince a woman of your value - seems like expectations play an important role in your relationships. Mother had them, but abandoned them, friends and maybe grandma didn't have them. How should someone show you love through expectations? - microsociety - trauma requires emotional labor to not pass it on. We can systematically value this emotional labor for micro society - culturally acceptable to ask "have you been suffering" and just listen - John said "Don't feel like you're compelled to change my life". If I'm your coach I am compelled to help you understand , envision, and grow. - what are your goals for your professional life? - What are your current small goals and how have you tracked progress? - I had a lot of notes harshly challenging your world view, but instead of me trying to convince you, let's go find corrective experience!!! ##### Testing "No Third Spaces" Hypothesis - Pick one venue from [[john starkel third space idea recommendations]] - put my money where my mouth is - We attend same event independently as participants with shared goal of creating [[mutual aid introduction script|finding mutual aid relationships]] - mutual aid vs. plutonic relationship is about efficacy, depth of goal sharing, and `accountability`. What are your mutual aid relationships now? - It seems self-evident that the more we focus on helping others the more that we help solicit their dreams and work to fulfill those dreams and hold them accountable to help fulfill our dreams the easier our dreams will come true - discuss experiences after ##### Testing "World Not Conducive to Relationships" Hypothesis - create weekly social interaction goals - [ ] Initiate # conversations that result in disengagement or refusal to engage - [ ] Achieve # successful engagement conversations document with: - Quick summary after each attempt. talk-to-text or polo. - suggested format: context, approach, outcome - [ ] Setup weekly 20-minute check-in to review and adjust - hypothesize about actions that will help reach goals that will get your outcome - track actions and review progress to reassess hypothesis