#### I believe the world is inherently terrifying by nature - We humans artificially carry this terror mindset into society. - Watch squirrels for a while and you will see what I mean. In nature, the world is `a place of endless risks`. `Staying alive is difficult` and animals have to play some pretty intense `games of risk/reward to survive`. Loss = death in the game of life. Procreation = Victory. Being a squirrel is pretty simple, but it is definitely terrifying. That is why they tense up so much when you walk past. Must stay on `alert at all times for predators`. - are we in more risk now than as cavemen? - society has made us safer than squirrels and - the stress of a mind experiencing terror is antithetical to flourishing - Humans, with our insufferable genius, have escaped the day to day struggle to survive via some serious collaboration. However we carry our ancestors instincts with us into society which ironically recreates some of those terrors. - we can change our societal mindset through narratives https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1nYtX-NUsc - does the plasticity of the human mind allow us to adapt to a completely safe environment? is there inevitably a baseline anxiety in humans? Can the future be assured to an extent that would alleviate suffering from anxiety? - The scale of our societies forces us to interact with strangers frequently. The human mind was not designed for this. We are `naturally apprehensive around strangers` and require `social rituals to feel secure`. This is because ancient man had to see other tribes as rivals for resources. We now have an abundance of resources, yet can't seem to shake that initial tension. - what is natural fear and what is artificial fear? what was stranger danger like prior to the safetyism of the 80s? - the human mind is corrupted by fear mongering and capitalism - Ideology also plays a role here. The idea that `competition is a natural moral good` which you heard about from our partners Tuesday is a great example of this. Despite the fact that `society is an inherently collaborative` act, humans resist repressing their competitive instincts as those instincts kept us alive, while not competing truly would have meant starvation. We use our ideologies in some cases to make room for human instincts even when it seems counterproductive to the main goal. - Due to this quirk of human nature, modern society interacts with us much like a `dark forest` of old. We meet tons of people daily that we really `can't fully trust`. We are constantly playing a risk/reward game in our head during our interactions `trying to fulfill our needs` while also not losing status within our "tribes". Sometimes we succeed and are rewarded with new relationships, other times we run, fight, or hide. - I really like the dark forest analogy - large society == the dark forest - what scale of society is optimized for human comfort - how much of this society is a dark forest is a failure of culture and institutions to create a sense of security and how much is it the individual need for inner work? - We can't truly trust anyone or anything, so is this feeling of terror at interacting with society simply a difference in risk tolerance? - when was the last time you had to run, fight, or hide? - The problem is we map this dark forest based on our prior experiences. Another adaptation of our past was to really `pick up on patterns`. Repeating the same mistake twice had deadly consequences in nature. Thus if I have been repeatedly punished for trusting others, only to be abused, my monkey brain is going to really resist me trusting others. When I try to trust others, I'm going to feel an intense discomfort we today call Anxiety. - I've started engaging with my anxiety more and it helps me find a middle ground or at least soothe what would be a rising tide of dread if I had pushed down and not addressed my anxious thoughts - This is what I mean when I say Life is Terrifying. It's a `dark forest of potential dangers`. We each have our own map which leads to different places. But we are also under the power of our own two feet. Living takes no small amount of bravery. - bravery takes fear. fear is built from experience, narratives, and lack of coping strategies - Can we do a collective exercise where for 1 day we document when we feel fear. I think this would be a good exercise to understand each other better. ... Maybe it'd be better to do in person with each other now that I think about it. #### My harmlessness is definitely subconscious. - It has become a `core part of my identity` even when I was growing up. My mother used to call me her `"Gentle Giant"` when I was only a boy. - I will say however that I do feel a powerful sense of anxiety when I feel I am being assessed by others to be a threat especially when it comes to Women and Children. I find myself being hyper self critical when interacting with these groups because I assume automatically that they will assess me the moment I interact with them. I think the idea of being seen as dangerous by one of those groups would be devastating to me so I do have a certain conscious component that goes into this in certain situations. - anxious to be assessed as threatening - does this self criticality create limitations on your relationships in these cases? - https://renegadeexpressions.com/2013/10/03/schrodingers-rapist-or-a-guys-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/ - #### My goal in Therapy isn't to make the world less terrifying - That is beyond my power. I instead am trying to fix my map. Due to my past I have suffered from `perceiving the world to be worse than it actually is`. `Depression warps your memories` of the past and creates `negative experiences out of neutral experiences`. This is self reinforcing as if you have 70% bad experiences you are going to have a hell of a time trying to convince that monkey brain to give people another chance. Enter despair because no one has the desire to love you. And if you are doomed to never be loved, why even live at all? - how do you rationalize your internal terror? - so the solution is to control your narrative with cognitive reframes? - CBT is great for this btw. lol. - Oh and since you asked in your notes, Ains does not currently own a firearm, but she does have a concealed carry license and she is planning to purchase a firearm once she is a homeowner. #### value of our discourse - I do believe the answer lies somewhere in the middle. I am a person who has a `substantially different experience than you` in life. I also have the benefit of a relentless intelligence and a natural desire to rationalize my own mind through self reflection. This makes conversation on deep topics easy for me whereas others may really struggle. - I don't struggle to extract John's values and narratives as he has done an extreme amount of self reflection already. - However we must remember that despite my abilities as a presenter, I am a single data point on the graph. I have no doubt that you can continue to learn useful things through our discourse. I personally learn best via conversation. But I do believe there is inevitably a point where you know me well enough to start experiencing diminishing returns. If you find yourself predicting what I am going to say before I say it, I would say we are getting close to that point. - Taking risks at some point will be the only way for you to collect data from more sources which will further strengthen your `therapeutic model`.