- contribution > correction - momentum > perfection - prideful challenge > hardship - game > chore - time yourself - tie it to a reward e.g. finishing video, getting dessert - nurture independent helpfulness - kindly expect helpfulness - give space to learn independent contribution - trust their initiative: problem solving > instructions, observational skills > task master - lead by example: act quickly and kindly when you see something needs to be done - make it easy: leave low hanging fruit for them to pick, appreciate their effort - end on a win