## Pre-Meeting Guidelines - **Radical Honesty**: Commit to speaking difficult truths with compassion - **Active Listening Plus**: Beyond basic listening, practice: - Acknowledging emotions - Validating experiences - Taking responsibility for impact - **Emotional Safety**: Either person can call for a break at any time #### Active Listening Techniques 1. Pause before responding 2. Use phrases like: - "I hear you saying..." - "It sounds like..." - "Help me understand..." - "What I'm taking from this is..." #### Grace Framework - Assume good intentions - Acknowledge human imperfection - Accept different perspectives - Allow space for growth #### Boundary Setting Format "I feel ___ when ___ happens. What I need is ___." #### Signs to Take a Break - Elevated voice - Physical tension - Defensive responses - Emotional flooding Remember: Progress isn't always linear. Small steps forward are still progress. ## Suggested Goals 1. Address core wounds and misunderstandings 2. Create clear expectations about family dynamics 3. Establish new patterns of communication and connection 4. Discuss practical matters (inheritance, family involvement) ## Agenda (3 hours) ### 1. Setting the Space (20 mins) - Review guidelines and expectations - Share hopes and fears for the conversation - Establish ground rules for difficult topics - If either person finds themselves or the other person breaking rules, kindly pause the conversation ### 2. Historical Context (45 mins) - Discuss childhood experiences and different perspectives - Address dynamics with Judy and blended family - Explore patterns of distance and connection ### 3. Current Challenges (45 mins) - Discuss communication barriers - Address inheritance concerns and family dynamics - Explore feelings about current relationship patterns ### 4. Emotional Processing (30 mins) - Share impact of past events - Express unmet needs and desires - Acknowledge hurts and offer forgiveness ### 5. Future Planning (30 mins) - Create clear communication expectations - Discuss boundaries and preferences - Address practical concerns (visits, family events) ### 6. Action Steps (10 mins) - Set specific goals for relationship - Create accountability measures - Schedule follow-up conversations